Adventures in Fatherhood from the Captain's Chair

A few weeks after my wife’s pregnancy was confirmed I took the opportunity to dust off the list of names that we had compiled when we were expecting our son. By no means was it an exhaustive list, as I had a strong preference for a boy’s name while my wife had a strong preference for a girl’s name.

At the 18 week ultrasound where we learned we were having a boy half of that list immediately became irrelevant. Additionally, I dropped certain boy’s names that I had on there to torment my wife, specifically Fergus and Maximus. My wife wasn’t totally in favor of my favorite boy’s name, but she quickly warmed to it with the news we were having a son.

It should be noted this warming came with absolutely no pressure from me. Had we been expecting a girl I would have agreed to my wife’s favorite because I knew how important the name was to her, plus I did like it.

Of course we have all read horror stories about families being at odds with each other over the naming of the child. My personal opinion is that the choice of a child’s name rests solely with that child’s parents. If a family member, no matter how far removed, wants to give input on what your child’s name should be they can only do so after 1.) delivering the child themselves and/or 2.) establishing a trust fund sizable enough to pay for college and graduate school.

If there is a family tradition, then it should be up to the spouse with said tradition to voice his or her preference in that regard and for the other spouse to give the tradition its proper consideration. For instance, my middle name is Joseph, which I share with my father and grandfather.

To me it was important that our son share my middle name and we took this into consideration. Thankfully my wife was totally on board, but did make a few requests with regards to what we chose for a first name to avoid any unfortunate combinations of initials.

Over the past month or so we’ve had a few casual conversations about name ideas and many of those that were on our original list are still in play for our second child. Our 20 week ultrasound is Monday, so we will soon find out what we are having, which means we should have the baby’s name picked out well in advance.

Still, naming a child is probably one of the most important decisions aside from committing to start a family. These are just a few things we took into consideration when choosing a name:

• Family heritage on both sides
• How the first name matches up with the family name
• If using a middle name, does it flow with the first and last name
• What the child’s full name will sound like when yelled out at full volume
• What the child’s initials might spell out, and
• The inevitable school ground derivations they will have to endure

No matter what name we end up choosing the only thing I can guarantee is that it won’t be chosen 1.) by using an iPhone app, 2.) with careful consideration of the expense of necessary therapy for said child and 3.) that we will work together to reach a consensus for the sake of our immediate family.

How did you handle the naming process with your child/children?

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