Captain’s Chair #2: Paying the Piper

When I first learned that I was going to become a father my mind started racing about all kinds of things. I started thinking about the kind of father I wanted to be and the lessons that I thought were most important for me to impart to our child. There are lessons everywhere in life and some of the most powerful and enduring ones come from the mistakes we make. If I am successful in nothing else I hope that I am able to teach my son to learn from the mistakes that I have made.

A few days before Thanksgiving I had to see a doctor on an unrelated matter, but managed to leave the office with the fun news that I have developed diabetes. Now, given my family history this news, while disappointing, is not terribly surprising. Nor should it have surprised me given my notoriously poor decision making when it comes to my personal health. I have been overweight most of my life and while I am eighty pounds lighter than the heaviest I’ve ever been I need to now more than ever get myself in check.

And so the time has come for me to pay the piper. With Lantus pen and Metformin in hand I now have no choice but to learn from the many, many mistakes I have made in my life. I not only owe it to my son who deserves a father that can be there for him, but I owe it to my wife who deserves a partner that can be there for her.

As I begin this new chapter in my life as a diabetic my greatest hope is that what has happened to me will serve as a lesson to my son. Make no mistake this diagnosis is my fault. Despite my knowledge of my family history I would regularly pick the wrong thing to eat at the wrong time and in the wrong amount. And what about exercise you say? Don’t even get me started. When it comes to exercise I’m like Paulie from Goodfellas – I move slow, if at all. However, regardless of my own complicity, genetics to some extent will be a factor for him. It will be my responsibility to educate him about what I will be going through for the rest of my life so he understands and will hopefully make better decisions to avoid a similar fate.

Despite the seriousness of my diagnosis I am confident that I will be able to get it under control not just for me, but for my family. For whatever reason I’ve always done a better job doing something when it is for someone else rather than for me. As an added bonus I now also have a greater measure of clarity as to who I need to be as a father to our son.