Captain’s Chair #3: Lloyd Dobler is My Hero

“I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”

Ever hear of kickboxing, sport of the future?

And so go the immortal words of my hero, uttered to Diane’s father as he desperately tries to explain his future plans. As confused and misguided as he seems fumbling through this explanation I can’t help but feel anything except complete empathy for him.

In general I would consider myself risk averse and not much of a gambler. During my first visit to Vegas I thought it might be fun to learn how to play craps. After swiftly depositing a meager sum into the casinos coiffeurs I chose to withdraw from active participation in the carnage. Instead I stood behind my friends watching them battle the odds content to imbibe the mediocre house scotch retaining what few chips I had remaining to tip the hostess.

Now, for someone that doesn’t fancy himself much of a gambler I have rolled the dice far too often than I’d care to admit when it comes to my career decisions. My professional career got an early start when my junior year internship turned into a full time job before I was even close to graduating. But with a car that was frequently on the mend and having material needs and wants that clouded my judgment, I was sure that I was making the right decision to leave school full time and enter the nine to five world full time.

It all started out so promising.

I had grand plans for my future career in the business world. I dreamt of a Gekko-esque world that brought me fame and fortune, well mostly fortune. My first real job had interesting assignments and I got to travel. As my interest waned it lead to opportunities in private equity, which I had truly believed was where I belonged the whole time.

Then it all came crashing down.

The funny thing about working 100 hours a week is you tend to forget why you are doing it all in the first place. Dissatisfied with what I was doing I jumped ship to start my own company, which turned out to be a textbook case of decent idea, wrong time. After a change of scenery, a slight change in industry focus and a few years of financial success that enabled me to rebuild the nest egg I had otherwise squandered it was time to yet again pull the ripcord on the career suicide parachute.

From new vantage points comes clarity.

Abandoning a failed career path can be quite satisfying and I had the opportunity to do so just two short weeks before arguably the biggest moment of my life – my wedding. Focusing my energies on renovating a house we had purchased helped me to figure out that my misguided view of what was right for me as a career was the problem. Taking a sledgehammer to sheetrock is amazingly solid therapy!

Shortly thereafter we welcomed our son into the world and it only made sense that I would become a stay at home dad rather than attempt a career rehabilitation amidst diapers changes and midnight feedings.

And so this is where I find myself today – at the crossroads of a second career crisis. What exactly do I want to do with my life when I grow up? Considering my now sizeable disdain for the corporate world, especially those kindly folks on Wall Street whose public execution for their crimes against our financial system I would openly support, I have serious obstacles in front of me as I attempt to find a new path in life.

Making matters more difficult is the perception of the stay at home dad in the workplace. According to an MSNBC article about this topic, SAHD’s are considered lazy because they were willing to “quit” on their career to take care of their families. I guess the prevailing pretzel logic is that taking care of your children isn’t “manly” and therefore I could never be an effective leader upon some triumphant return to the daily grind. Since this is a family show, all I have to say to that is – horse hockey!

After more than six months taking care of our infant son I can tell you that this is the most challenging, yet rewarding job I’ve ever had. Coming from someone who was raised by a stay at home mom, I can state unequivocally that I have more respect than ever for moms and the commitment that raising a child requires. There have been a few occasions where I wondered if this was something I can get through alive. It is a tough job, and the reason I know I can get through it is because I have an extremely supportive wife who was on board with our decision.

So, what next then?

Honestly, I have no idea what I want to do, which is one of the reasons I’ve started blogging and learning more about 

social networking. I’m on a quest for inspiration and answers. In a romanticized version of my life I would convince my wife to let me move the family to Italy for a few years while I toil as an apprentice for a Salumist. 

Maybe we would return from our sojourn, maybe we wouldn’t.

Over the past ten years I’ve developed a love for cooking and have become quite good at it, especially with the elaborate holiday celebrations. However, a quick re-read of Kitchen Confidential gives me pause even though I know I have a bang up concept for a restaurant. I’d call it “Insulin” and it would be a hot spot for all the trendy diabetics and the people that love them.

But seriously, no matter what direction I ultimately decide to go, one thing I am determined to do is follow my passions rather than paychecks. I did that for far too long in my nearly twelve year financial services career and all I have left to show for it are the scars of bad job choices and disappointment.