Comments on: There isn’t always a solution

By: The memory remains the same

The memory remains the same — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 14:18:48 +0000

[...] Read more of “There isn’t always a solution”. [...]

By: I’m going to be a dad, again – Real Men Drive Minivans

I’m going to be a dad, again – Real Men Drive Minivans — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 16:19:21 +0000

[...] of the previous miscarriage the first was scheduled at just over seven weeks. When we heard that heartbeat pounding along at [...]

By: eternallizdom

eternallizdom — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:39:41 +0000

We also lost our first pregnancy and I also went the surgical route and my husband expressed a lot of the same feelings that you have shared here. We still talk about “Bunny” from time to time. The sadness lessens for us… but it was definitely a strengthening and growing time in our marriage.

By: eternallizdom

eternallizdom — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:39:41 +0000

By: eternallizdom

eternallizdom — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:39:41 +0000

By: steelydad

steelydad — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 05:00:42 +0000

We went through a similar situation. It's tough, to say the least, and many times so much focus is placed on the mom that the dad can be lost in the shuffle of sympathies. We're supposed to be tough and be the shoulder upon which to cry but sometimes we need to cry too. Rarely are we asked how we're doing. Thanks for sharing your story and letting others know that the dad suffers in his own way.

By: Daddy Files

Daddy Files — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:05:07 +0000

I can relate PJ. We went through this twice before Will was born. And even though my head keeps reassuring me that it was just a collection of cells, I bonded with my unborn babies each time. And was heartbroken each time.

Good post.

By: thedevoteddad

thedevoteddad — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 23:49:05 +0000

Losing a child is the most heartbreaking and while we have not been in your shoes, I am truly sorry for your families loss. God has blessed you with your little man. -Jason

By: theteachertom

theteachertom — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:00:29 +0000

Right on, PJ. Learning that some problems are unsolvable is a tough one, especially for men. Sometimes all we can do is let our feelings flourish and get on with our life of doing.

Powerfully written. Thanks.

By: The JackB

The JackB — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:27:46 +0000

It is hard. During my wife's second pregnancy she took a test that often registers a false positive. Long story short she came up positive and we set up a meeting with a genetic counselor.

She told us that based upon the test it was likely that our baby had spinal bifida or Down's Syndrome. It was a rough moment.

We ended up having an aminocentesis and then went through the waiting to see if that would cause a miscarriage. I went through all sorts of hell feeling powerless to protect my family.

You are right, we are programmed to fix things and when we can't...