Words are easy, actions are hard

I’ve been struggling with today’s post for the better part of three weeks now. The basic premise has been rambling through my head for a while now, but I just haven’t been able to figure out where to start.

Well, as luck would have it, it finally hit me today – literally.

As snack time rolled around this morning I got little man settled into his high chair, but for the second time in as many days he wasn’t interested in eating his yogurt. The whole time he kept pointing behind me to where we keep the bananas, and, as I was trying in vain to get him to take one more spoonful of yogurt, his little hand flew up and knocked it all over me.

“Shit!” I exclaimed. And that is when the inspiration struck.

You may not know it from reading my blog, but I am a horrible potty mouth. On the few occasions I’ve used an expletive in a post I’ve censored it. Part of the reason is that I have a hard time being funny through my writing without turning it into a Carlin routine. The other part is that I am trying to clean up my act now that I’m responsible for developing the mind, and vocabulary, of my son.

My potty mouth grew out of working the graveyard shifts through college and was incubated in the conference rooms of my first few jobs in the “real” world. Without any customers to hear what you were really saying about them at 3AM while stocking shelves, you didn’t hesitate to let some colorful language fly. And, several years later, when I was working the phones between lawyers, accountants and bankers on different M&A deals my company was involved with that language became part of how you stressed the urgency of the situation. For instance: “I don’t give a @#$% what you think, just get that ^%$#@%$ report over to me by the end of the #$%^& day or I’ll have your a$$.”

Now that our son is racing towards toddler status, every time I let one, or several, fly the disapproving look or comment if my wife is present is sure to follow. While she is absolutely right, I still get mad because I already know that I need to work harder to correct my language. And I really, really don’t like being reminded. Just because I’m a stay at home dad and I cook, clean and change diapers doesn’t mean that I’m the new millenia’s version of a SNIG (a “Singles” reference, wow, how grunge of me!) and I definitely have some “typical guy” traits that would drive most women crazy. Given my mood, and the time of day, I’m about as likely to tell you where to go as tell you how to get where you wanted to go in the first place.

Words are easy, actions are hard

This lesson isn’t new, but, for some reason, is one that likes to rear its ugly head on occasion. We all do it, every day. Maybe we make promises that we fully intend to keep, but don’t. Sure, we say we’re going to put down the donut, pick up a banana and lose those last few pounds, but we don’t. Does it mean we are being disingenuous, no. Just human.

Saying the words “I love you” can be easy, the reality is that it is just much harder to consistently show the person you love how much you really do love them. Maybe it comes down to communication, or even a difference in expectations on how we should show our love. The fact of the matter remains is that it is difficult to always back up what we say with the actions that will validate them.

Do I wish that I could wave some magic wand and have my potty mouth tendencies to go away? Sure, and, if you happen to have one, I’d also like to shed these last 20 pounds and turn the suburban assault vehicle into a Maserati.

But that isn’t the way life works, and so I will continue to work at it, knowing full well that I’m as fallible as the next man. I will surely say something colorful in the wrong company again that will elicit the same look from my wife, but hopefully not as often as I have in the past.

What about you? What words come easy to you, but you find hard to back up with actions?

I’d love to hear that I’m not alone.